Torrey Canyon 17 fathoms deep…

Torrey Canyon (2)I can’t believe it’s fifty years since the Torrey Canyon disaster. The whole thing haunted me for years – along with the slow demise of my first marriage and later, having to live without my children.
The Sixties was not a good decade for lots of people: women were not listened to and still suffering from the post-war expectations of the kitchen-sink repression.

Not having  a paid job or a home with my name on it  proved a costly and life-threatening episode in my life.

In March 1967 the 974 ft oil supertanker Torrey Canyon was carrying tons of crude oil from Kuwait to Milford Haven in South Wales – there’s a big British Petroleum depot there and BP chartered the tanker.

The Captain had decided to take a short cut around Cornwall – not the best of choices at that point as many a sailor knows and while his Captain slept, the First Mate steered a course off Land’s End between Seven Stones Reef and the Scilly Isles. The huge tanker grounded on  Pollard’s Rock on 18th March 1967.  We’re told that the crew of the Seven Stones Lightship, two miles off the reef, realised the tanker was in danger when she was a mile away from the reef, but there was nothing they could do but raise the alarm. This was bad enough – but what was to follow was one of the greatest maritime disasters. It was man-made all round and made worse by unfortunate man-made attempts to resolve  the problems. At the time, she was the largest vessel ever to be shipwrecked.

The crew were rescued by helicopters and lifeboats and the Captain and three crew stayed on board for as long as possible.

The Torrey Canyon began to split in two after two days of trying to refloat her.Torrey Canyon (3)

The oil tanks were splitting and up to 117000 tons of crude oil was pouring into the sea. With a growing oil spill 8 miles long, on 28th March the RAF bombed the ship to sink her. Only 23 of the 41 bombs dropped hit their target and it took two days before she sank.Torrey Canyon

120 miles of the Cornish coast and 50 miles of the coast of Brittany were suffocated with crude oil. 10000 tons of BP’s crude oil detergent was poured into the sea – some in barrels from the top of cliffs.

size of oil spill

15000 seabirds were killed along with beach marine life and micro-organisms of the seashore.RSPCA

birdbird emerging

Hundreds of volunteers along with the army and emergency services took to the black beaches for the long, slow clear-up operation. Research has revealed that on beaches where no BP detergent was dispersed, it took 2-3 years for nature to resolve the tragedy, but where the untested detergent was used, it took 13-14 years for the balance to begin to be restored. black beaches

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It was a tragic way to learn environmental lessons. The crude oil transported to a quarry in Guernsey is there to this day. The wreck of the Torrey Canyon lies  98 feet deep.

And that’s how, my dear readers, this poem was born.

Friend

There are times when the world closes in on me
I struggle for shore, aware of encumbrances,
Of the enormity of the waves
and the vast illegibility of the sky.
The power beneath me throws me at the strand,
Recedes, then whispers back
To feel my trembling consciousness.

I open my eyes to see myself crouched in fear…
My wings discoloured and glued down
By the coal-black tar of foreboding.
Thoughts which seem as deep as the vastness of my sky
Pin me down.
– And sand begins to gather on the tar.

And I have felt the earth tremble with your presence.
Felt strong hands hold me, lift me to your face.
And on that gentle face, outlined against my sky
Is fear, to match my own.
The real fear, the one which says
“You frighten me but I understand your pain;
lie still in my hands and trust me.”
That such a fear should breed you such compassion!
These hands that paint the tar away
Are of the stuff which first did give me life
– And threw me at the waiting sky, to fly.

 

Eileen  Walke

 

 

 

A Snake Sought Out My Concrete Floor

A snake sought out my concrete floor on a warm, warm evening
And I in bare feet for the heat –
Mellifluously easing its smoothness under the door
Into the room I had presumed was mine
In order to put me right?

When my eyes told my mind what they saw at my feet
I must have drawn breath
for it stopped
And considered with penetrating emeralds
What it saw before it.

Having given myself away
I realised I was no longer part of the furniture
But uncomfortably distinct.

– Still! Be still! Don’t Move Stay Still
My thoughts hissed at me
– Even should it wind itself around your thigh

The glint of the remorseless eyes
Seemed to stop the world turning
Before the eternities that lay behind them

Then
Leaping clumsily like a human being,
Ignoring all time-honoured wisdoms,
I took a chair up with me
And landed back with a crash
Before its stillness.

Stiffening with each ensuing chair-crash
The creature magically pulled itself backwards
Betraying no fear, no widening at the eye –
It seemed, rather, to have taken
A pragmatic decision on its
Dry appraisal.

Perhaps it didn’t wish to be with what it appraised.
It slipped back indifferent garden-wards
And left me with sweaty palms
And something to expiate.

Dominic Mathews

Eclipse on Dartmoor

Snake of cars, stopping, waiting, thinking –
snake of cars crawling away, laden, crying…

The tors look like crowns in monochrome –
and people set like jewels.

Moving through ferns and old stones
we find a quiet place.
Morning moths rise fluttering from my feet
like single white confetti floating
to rest on green.
Tiny yellow star-flowers with
wetness clinging to Emmaus boots make
Heaven in a wild flower.

Ponies nudging – flicking – whinnying –
staying close together.
Wind furrows ferns like neck hairs under pony tails
and a flat stone waits.
Coolness growing – a patch of warmth to lean on.

Bleating and barking – single sounds on the wind.
People-watching people on the third watch
like small children wanting to get to the top – then
looking all around, staying perfectly alert to everything
– not missing a thing.  Midnight at Christmas.

Darkness descending frame by frame over
an apprehension
of what will be a new day.
Twice in six hours.

Quiet joy to be content
to look ahead
and to deny the urge to rove.
I watch the bewildered foal take milk,
and curl around my knees to
feel the moorland blur into night.

 

 

 

Eileen Walke

Le Corsaire, April 2011

“Y’know Mum, I love Chow very much.”

The Pirate and the Submariner.

Depths and heights…

Planning a garden, running to Big Ben and back
and bidding me
“Go home – you must bring him home.”

East Dulwich walk. “But will they
let me keep him at home if he’s dying?”

Mapping the sailing ahead
from Peckham to Plymouth to Oldham
and to Infinity.
A ship of the realm, a sextant,
stars, the lanyard, sail, rigging…
The Old Ships – the anchors.

 

 

 

 

Eileen Walke

December 17th 2016

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And off we all went to Charlie and Julie’s wedding in Plymouth.

Eric fell in love with the bride as soon as he saw her in her bridal gown – and the more he looked, the deeper he fell. I think it was mutual …

After the moving ceremony we all met to eat, drink and be merry in China Fleet hostelry up the Tamar. It was so interesting to have the echo of China Fleet in the celebrations, because it brought John, Charlie’s dad, right in there amongst us. John’s father, Marcus Mathews worked in the far east for over forty years for the Hong Kong and Chinese Bank and I feel sure he must have known the Hong Kong China Fleet very well because it was this bank that helped set it up and keep it alive as a shelter for the Navy’s China fleet. So John, Marcus and Doris were very much with me in that place.

The pirate theme for each table, with it’s ‘Aaarghs’ and ‘Aaarghs’ kept Charlie’s brother Dom, (who died in 2011), close to us too and no doubt he was thoroughly enjoying the way Chris (Charlie’s son) handled his Master of Ceremonies role.

Chris’ sister Laura, with little Amelie, Charlie and Julie’s granddaughter, formed a circle of love around the happy couple, with Laura’s partner, Luke, alongside.

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And the bride. Well, you took my breath away Julie! I’ve seen you now at several family weddings and you always look special – but on this day, your day, you looked spectacular. Happiness flowed through you and out of you to each one of us. It warms my heart to think my beloved son could make you so happy and I understand it completely. You’ve shared in our family joys and griefs for a long time now and I want to thank you for your love and generosity.  I often think of the glass of white wine you put in front of me at Dom’s funeral and how you knew I needed it. You’ve helped my precious husband John making bouquets and buttonholes for hours for family weddings. Your bouquet and buttonholes were wonderful and beyond that, the exquisite care and detail you devoted to your guests at the tables was evidence again of all the lovely things you are. We love you very much Julie and you bring  love and beauty to our family. Thank you.

And the groom. Charlie – or by his family nickname, Chow – my beloved son, so deeply in love and full of gratitude. You’ll be wondering why we call him Chow. It all stems from when Maria, his little sister, grew to know her newborn brother and called him ‘Dow’ – the nearest she could manage for ‘Charles’. So over the months and years ‘Dow’ developed into ‘Chow’ and other big and small people followed suit. He was a quiet and thoughtful child. He took his time with learning to speak but inwardly digested all the words his sister gave him as she ruled the airwaves in her curiosity about the world. Those of you who know him will recognise his capacity for thought before he speaks – and how what he says is careful and meaningful. I know you worked so hard for the wedding to be such a happy day Chow and I recognised how overwhelming you found the depth of love from your families and friends. Be happy always and we love you very much.

 

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I don’t remember being at a wedding in Advent before and in that holy season of quiet and waiting for love to be born again on earth, we all shared in a glimpse of its glory at your wedding. May your married life be blessed and may you both find joy in the quiet times and the small things of life together.

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“If you need a kidney, you can have one of mine.”

When I told him about my kidney cancer, this was the immediate response from my Middle Brother, Geoff. It pretty much sums up all that he is to me  – generous, funny, warm, interested, consistent, wise and reliable.

Here he is with his beloved wife Patsie.                    IMG_20151204_094608

And this is why I still call him my “Middle Brother”…

Eric Geoff Eileen Walke Bedford 1948

Looking through the early photos, Geoff was always sitting or standing in the middle between Eric (eldest brother) and myself. This is a lovely one – on one of our Sunday morning walks through the fields with our Dad and his Kodak box camera.Eileen Geoff Eric

Geoff was my baby brother for six years (til Les was born) and in the first year of his life he was often poorly. I didn’t  know  anything about what was happening to him, but I missed him when he was in hospital time after time and I remember all the worry and concern in the house. I was told he was having trouble keeping his food down and the next thing I knew was having my baby brother home with a red scar on his stomach. Here he is with our Nan, who adored Geoff, in 1948 on holiday at Eccles Beach in Norfolk.

Nannie (Elizabeth Henderson) and Geoff Walke 1948 at Eccles Beach Norfolk

Geoff made the most of life – and still does. He treasures his family and he and Pat are Mum and Dad to Kevin, Justine and Alex. He also has an amazing memory and can fill in the details of any family incident or event from our childhood.

When we eat together, I always find myself watching him to see if he smells his food before he tastes it! When he was young I used to watch him sniff his Marmite sandwich before he took a bite  and I still wonder if this dated back to his early feeding problems…20150827_154048 Haven’t seen him do it recently though! We’ve had  some happy times together in recent years – visiting their son Kev in Sheffield and taking in a walk around the city and a quiet time in the beautiful Sheffield Cathedral, followed by an evening meal.

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When our son Dom was at home with us in 2011 with terminal cancer, Geoff phoned every week without fail to talk with us and with Dom. The love and support from his family is so precious to us – and Patsie is the sweetest sister that I never had as a child. We love them all very much.

Geoff still phones every week and now and again I remember to beat him to it. When the grandchildren want to speak to him, he says he’s Billywhiz! John tells me that name has a few dubious meanings but I’ll stick with Beano or Dandy…

We had a lovely time last summer when we rented a little cottage together in Northumberland for the Walkefest family gathering near Hexham. We were cosy, very much at home and  made lovely memories. This was our shared view…

farmhouse sky 2016

I’ve been thinking alot about how to thank you both, Geoff and Patsie, for this extraordinary love and support you give us through our grief and fears and for the smiles and laughter we can often share in our lives. Last week the actor John Hurt died and he has said ” My life is full because I know I am loved”.  That about sums it up for us, eh?

I wonder if you remember that you gave me, many years ago, a book of Shakespeare’s  sonnets? Well, this one, number 116, is for you…

 

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken,
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come,
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

William Shakespeare.

November Skies

Than these November skies
Is no sky lovelier. The clouds are deep;
Into their grey the subtle spies
Of colour creep.
Changing that high austerity to delight,
Til ev’n the leaden interfolds are bright.
And, where the cloud breaks, faint far azure peers
Ere a thin flushing cloud again
Shuts up that loveliness, or shares.
The huge great clouds move slowly, gently, as
Reluctant the quick sun could shine in vain,
Holding in bright caprice their rain.
And when of colours none,
Not rose, nor amber, nor the scarce late green,
Is truly seen, –
In all the myriad grey,
In silver height and dusky deep, remain
The loveliest,
Faint purple flushes of the unvanquished sun.

John Freeman

For National Poetry Day

Potted

Shock-blonde, lick-slicked and collared
I stick upright, aloof from the cool blues,
turps-headed and drying out.

Having swollen for corn, skin, straw,
starlight, a chair, some tables,
their light-pools turning in

and crying out of vases
of summer-sunned flowers
spring songs from iris’ throats –

Then cadmium thumbed from my scalp,
my oily strands stripped bare –
soused, rinsed, up-ended, old and new,

Awaiting the next parcel from Paris,
the unquivering true hand
to dance me laughing on the sky itself

Or drag my hair across despairing fields,
brushing against the verges of the path
that leads to carmine on burnt umber.

 

Dominic Mathews                            2008